Doing It Scared

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This quote resonates so deep within me. It causes me to reflect on the times in my life when I have been afraid, which is more than I can count. I, like many people have lived my life through a filter of fear. Afraid to make a decision, let go of something or someone, say yes, afraid to make a mistake, say no, start over or begin something completely new. Whatever it is we all have these moments but how we handle the fear is what changes us and defines who we are going to be.

I had a big “Fear” moment a few years ago that I fought vigorously. It was something I knew I needed to do but it was going to be hard and I didn’t want to be uncomfortable. In the end though, I took a deep breath and said “Ok, I’ll do it scared”. My decision took me through quite a journey of stretching, growing and testing me far beyond what I was initially even afraid of. It was really hard and at times I was so close to giving up but I stuck it out and pushed through the process. After a while I began to enjoy it and without my noticing, the fear dissipated and I was changed. It made sense to me that diamonds are produced only through great pressure and that there’s a hard unglamorous process of chipping away at layer upon layer of hard rock until the stone is revealed. I understood that being consistent and showing up anyway, no matter how I felt, produced integrity, strength and character.

Needless to say, that was a defining fear moment for me and quite frankly prepared me for the next one and the one after that. I get called to more and more, things that I actually want and others that I’m completely terrified of. That’s life. Now my practice is pausing, taking that deep breath and whispering to myself “Ok, I’m gonna do it scared”.

Billie